(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) It's not there anymore. Hi. Hello. Welcome to Sweet Insights. I'm Amy and this is Allison. Yes, hello. And so season three, episode three, we are talking about, you know, that ever feeling of stress that hijacks your energy, your mood, and sometimes even your sleep. So today we're digging into why and sharing how to stop it dead in its tracks. I love it. It's so good. And what's even better is that we had to deal with a bit of cortisol yesterday. And so we're not recording at the same time that we normally do. Like we normally set up our appointments in our calendars because we're both busy, um, moms and entrepreneurs and, uh, anyway, life happens. And unfortunately, sometimes it is stress. So here we are, because I had a super stressful day yesterday. I could not fit everything in the way we wanted it to, and just decided that I felt unorganized. Allie had stuff she had to get organized for, and we are recording another time. So stress gets in the way all the time. Like cortisol is not a funny thing at all. And I think the key that you and I have really, you know, achieved in, in, you know, the years that we've spent together is that ability to pivot, right? We could have recorded. Yes. There was a point yesterday where we were like, well, we could still record. And when we listened to each other, we could hear the stress that recording yesterday would have resulted in. And then we were like, Hey, we get to choose, right? We're in control. We get to choose. So do we want to create that extra stress on an already stressful day? Or do we want to say, this will be less stressful tomorrow? Right. And that was pretty powerful. It was, and we need to remind people, um, we're not medical professionals. Um, all the insights come from research and personal journeys and client stories that we have. So like, by no means are we replacing any doctors or anything anywhere, like just enjoyable for you guys to listen and hopefully learn some tips and tricks and like, maybe figure out what's going on with your hormones. My favorite part is that I remember to say that last episode. And you remember to say this episode, like we are the perfect pair, right. And also we have cheat sheets. So we're prepared on the cheat sheet. So let's talk about cortisol. Yeah. Yes. So what is cortisol? So cortisol is that hormone that allows us to kind of go into fight or flight. So what happens is, and this is kind of always the I explained cortisol because I think that the simplification of it, um, helps in our understanding. So if you're to picture yourself, um, and I'll like back in the olden days and a lion or saber tooth tiger is chasing you, what's going to happen is your cortisol level is going to go up. And when your cortisol level goes up, all of the blood flow in your body goes to your arms and legs so that you can run away from the lion. Right. And so that's that fight or flight response. When we're in our parasympathetic state, our rest and digest state, all of the blood flow is going to go to our stomach. We're going to be in the rest and digest when our cortisol goes up. It doesn't care about anything else, but saving our life. And so the interesting thing that I have found about the human body is it doesn't understand the difference in stress. And I think that's really important because people will say that they are stressed. If they have a major life event, something happening, maybe an illness of a loved one, or they're moving or like a big thing, they'll be like, oh yeah, I'm stressed. But so often the little teeny tiny stressors in our life, we're like, oh, that's just normal. Well, if we have little teeny tiny stressors in our life and they all keep piling on top of each other on top of each other, that results into big stress. And so it's important to realize that the human body doesn't differentiate between those things. Right. So it becomes a problem, obviously, when it builds up. So chronic stress equals consistently elevated cortisol, which disrupts the body's balance. So when it spikes and when it goes up, sometimes you can feel that, depending on how far into the stress and high cortisol you are, you can feel that spike when you get stressed out. And sometimes for some people, it's like an instant wave, like me, it's an instant wave of heat. And I don't know, I can feel it going to the top of my body and I can feel that I am stressed out. And it's kind of like when you're driving and all of a sudden somebody walks in front of you or like cuts you off and you can feel that instant like, I don't know, like you feel the stress kind of come over you. You feel like maybe a little bit of a shock. That's kind of how it is like when I feel in my stress spikes. So that's there's chronic stress, long term impact. Some people will even say, like, I know a lot of moms is that like when the stress piles up, you, your patience is less. So you might snap at somebody. And a lot of times it's someone that you love that you'll snap at, or you'll yell, like you'll yell more or whatever. It's like that fuse has become less. Oh yeah. When I'm stressed out, I'm chippy. Like I definitely snap at people more and you don't mean to, and you don't want to, but you're already at this heightened level of everything. And so it's easier because you're emotions are not in this high. And so instead of being kind and relaxed, you're like right at the top. Um, so we can kind of, um, explain a little bit. And I I've used this a lot with my clients and I think that they find it really, um, it's simplified. So cortisol, let's pretend cortisol is measured when we're relaxed and calm and chill. We're at the spa where it is zero. And when we're stressed, depending on how stressed we are, it moves up. Now what's interesting about stresses. So let's say the lion is chasing you and your stress goes up to 20. Okay. So your cortisol is at 20 again, clarification. This is not how cortisol is. This is for simplification. So if the lion is chasing us and our cortisol goes up to 20, chances are we, you know, get into somewhere and we're safe. And, you know, maybe we ran away for 20 minutes and the lion isn't going to chase us again for maybe two days, maybe a week. So our cortisol has an opportunity to come back down to zero, right? We're like, ah, now we're chill. We're going to go pick some berries, whatever's going on. But so what happens with is like minimal stress. So let's say I wake up in the morning and my kids are driving me crazy and we're racing to get out to school. Maybe my stress goes up to 10. And then now I'm, you know, racing the kids to school. I'm racing to work and I work in an office job and I get there and I'm drowning in emails and emails are a trigger for me. And so it's just the amount of work that's facing me brings me up to a 20. And then, you know, maybe my boss comes in and says something that isn't flavorable. And then I'm like, Ooh, my stress is a little bit higher. And then maybe it comes down a little bit, but before it comes all the way back down to zero, it comes back up again. And so envision that over a lifetime. So if perimenopause happens at 40 or 50 years old, or whenever it's going to happen for you, you've got a lifetime of all these little micro stresses. So what happens is, is over a period of time, your cortisol never comes back down to zero. It may be the new zero becomes 50. So then we start to see things like when we exercise, exercise causes our cortisol to go up. And so it can be really therapeutic for our minds and all of that. But if we give our body exercise and we were at a zero when we were 20, and we do exercise and it goes up to a 20, great, everything's honky dory. But if we're new zero is a 50, and we're doing that same exercise we did when we were 20, you know, now we're going up to 70 on our cortisol. So we're not going to see those same results. And so a lot of times, that's why when we talk about perimenopause, and, you know, differences in as we age, it's because that baseline of our cortisol might be sitting in a different spot than it used to be. So different exercises might be the better solution. Different combinations of food might be the better solution. And that is kind of how that gauge works. So one step we want to do is strategies to bring that cortisol level down. And then we also want to look at what are the activities that our body's going to respond better to and remind ourselves that it might not be the same things as it was in our 20s. Right? So would you say specifically, the example you're giving, like, would be more chronic stress, or would it be more long term? Because I guess it could be both like somebody who deals with that day in day out that long term. And sorry, if you think about it, too, like, let's say, you know, you have a family member that gets a dire illness. If you were at a zero in your stress level, your ability to manage that new 50 stress that that, you know, because we're not going up 20, when someone is ill in our family, we're going up to 50. Right? But if we're already at 50, and then that tragic thing happens, now we're going up to 100. So it's almost like the everyday stress, wherever that sits us, then we add on the other stressors on top of that, where we're already sitting is going to amplify our ability to handle those other stresses. And we have an illusion as women, I believe, that we can handle all the stresses. And we do because we, we make all the choices, and we take care of all the people and we do all the things, but at the expense of ourselves. Because we're then running and I was there myself when I you know, when I worked at my corporate job, and I was trying to manage all the buckets, and the buckets were falling. And I was not being kind to myself, my negative self talk was horrific. My stress levels were through the roof that one day when I couldn't close the freezer to put some gluten free bread in it, I dropped an F bomb on my three year old. And that was the big moment for me when I realized this is not okay, I need to, I need to back off and do something. And for me, that resulted in going on stress leave. And luckily, financially, that was an option, but it's not an option for everyone. So we need to figure out a way how do we remove the guilt from women remove the exasperated extreme expectations we put on ourselves as women to do all the things and do them all in such a way that isn't really fair to ourselves. And we wouldn't put that same expectation on our best friend. Absolutely. And what this all causes is fatigue on our adrenals. So that is a problem in itself. And then of course, it's a ripple effect on the hormones like estrogen heightened imbalance during period menopause, progesterone, reduced calm and testosterone, low energy and low libido. So basically, I think you kind of tied it all in your cortisol basically goes in overdrive. And your blood sugar levels will change like you're all just black. Yeah. And it just becomes impossible to relax. So some ways that stress shows up in your body. Basically, symptoms of prolonged high cortisol. So we mentioned fatigue and burnout. So waking up exhausted, it doesn't matter how much sleep you get. I know that there's times that I feel like I could go to bed at nine or 10, which is really early for me. And then I'll still wake up at like seven or eight and I'll feel exhausted and I'm getting more than the recommended amount of sleep. But I just feel tired throughout the day. And I feel like I get sluggish around it afternoon after lunch, like that happens too. But when I am taking care of my cortisol, keeping my levels low, keeping my stress down, I feel more energized. And then sometimes at night, I like I can't go to sleep because I just have so much energy from the day because I haven't done anything to well, I've managed my stress or maybe I just need to go a walk and things like that. But the point is I feel so much better. To your point, like sometimes even when your cortisol is high, you can't fall asleep, right? Like you not only are waking up tired, but like you're just an overdrive and you, you try to close your eyes at night and, and, you know, you're not able to shut that off because you're so stressed. Well, and the anxiety and the anxiousness that you feel sometimes, like, that's another thing, like, and that's part of it too, like sleep disturbances, trouble falling asleep, staying awake, waking up early, like I often when I'm burnt out for the day, like I fall asleep on the couch, I'm just done. And sometimes I'm so tired, like when I've had a really stressful day or week, and I will just be like, I'm staying on the couch, because I can't even open my eyes to be like I can get up to go to bed, like all the stay there, get as much good sleep as I can. So that way, any anxiety or anything like that from my stress doesn't keep me up, like I'll kind of get as much as I can. And all of that's good. But it's just sometimes you're in fight or flight. And I'm like, just like, I just need to like, stay here and relax a bit. And a big one for everyone is weight gain around the belly, cortisol encourages fat storage, particularly this all that. And I know that that's the first place when I am stressed, I see it around my stomach. And it's terrible, because no matter how much I work out, because that puts my cortisol up, I am not actually losing weight, because of my situation and my circumstances, it's my cortisol. And it's keeping that fat there, unfortunately, it really goes to that, you know, that philosophy that was like ingrained in us when we were younger, eat less, exercise more, eat less, exercise more, that's not going to be the solution, right? You tried that and saw firsthand that that was not going to give you the results you want. That's right. And so many friends are like, oh, this is all you have to do, stay within your calories, count your macros, exercise more, be consistent. I definitely agree with those things. But for me, specifically, it wasn't working, because I need to solve the problem first, so that I can get back to having a normal routine and be consistent. Honey, because I sometimes have this like giggle in my head, when I look at like, now that I'm in my 40s, and I'm experiencing these things that were problems for me before, I sometimes look people in their 30s. And I'm like, Oh, like, I don't think I appreciated my 30s enough. Like, I didn't appreciate like those moments. And like how those things work. And when I hear people in their 30s talking about like, these are the strategies I use, and they're working into the and I'm like, Oh, like, I'm so happy for you. But I'm like, wait for it, because you're gonna change. Right? I know, we really didn't appreciate that time as much as we should have. And I hope to have to my daughter like that advice and like enjoy it. Because we say enjoy your 20s, you can eat whatever you want to go to Wendy's five times a day if you need to, like, it's fine. In your 30s, you can't do that. But that now I'm like, in your 40s, there's so much you can't do. Right? I know. So another thing we talked about time on again, brain fog and forgetfulness. We've experienced it first hand. It's so hard. I'm sure we will see it again. I'm sure many, many times I will be a loss for words because I am having the brain fog. Well, it's so hard to recall things. And sometimes I find that our memories are so much of your memory. You're like, Oh, I can recall grade two, like it was yesterday. But then I cannot remember the conversation I just had with someone about this important thing that obviously wasn't that important, because I don't even know what it is. And it was yesterday, right? Like, it just, it doesn't make sense. So frequently, when we're talking, because since we're talking about my forgetfulness, like we like to, but I frequently find myself wondering when we talk what our age difference is. But I know each different. If I looked in your patient chart, it would tell me, but I always find myself I'm like, are we two years apart? Are we different? Like, what is our age difference? Amy, our age difference? I think it was only a year apart, I think. Okay, no, oh, it's maybe it's gonna be two years because your birthday is coming up. Next Friday, right? So yeah, it's not dogs or salad. Can you hear my dogs barking? I said next Friday, and they all started barking and celebrating. I think they're singing to me. Right? I think so. They're saying give me cake. Um, so and then I guess, yeah, along with our brain fog, forgetfulness, cravings for sugar, salty foods. Now everybody has this like, whether you're 15 or 40, it doesn't matter. Like we get cravings for things. But the cortisol affects our blood sugar regulation and appetite. So the things we have make a big difference on when we eat them. So I am curious, and this is like a random thought. But I'm curious that when we're in perimenopause, do our cravings for salt and sugar switch? No, that's a good question. I don't know. I just feel like for me, I never crave sugar. And I wouldn't say that I overly crave sugar now. But I'm, you know, there are times where I'm more interested in than ever before. So I just kind of because I'm a salty person. I love potato chips. But yeah, like, I appreciate sugar in a different way than I used to. So I'm curious if other people do too. Um, so I'm also thinking too, that I think that some of your cravings are holiday driven. I'll tell you why. On Valentine's, typically you get sweet stuff. So on Valentine's, I feel like I naturally crave chocolate and things because I know it's something that comes associated with holiday. So same thing with Christmas, like I might crave more Christmas goodies and sweets and things because I know they're going to be around one. So here's the thing. So sugar is a very interesting food because sugar is not necessarily inflammatory. Sugar is addictive. So the more sugar you eat, the more you crave it. And so that's why you can take supplements or do things to help curb your sugar cravings. So right now in January, a lot of people indulge at Christmas. So in January, they will crave sugar more. I was speaking more like generically that like, right. I just noticed that I'm more appreciative of sugar. Do I have cravings more post Christmas? Absolutely. Everyone does. Um, and, uh, you know, that's why some weight loss clients come out of the woodworks in January because they can't stop eating the sugar. Um, but I just find I'm in a space now where like, I'm like, Oh, like I can go for a sweet treat. But like, I would say that like eight months ago, like I would say, like, as I kind of started pairing that apart, like I was like, Ooh, like that sounds yummy. Um, so not necessarily Christmas related, but I totally know what you're talking about because you also can think about when something sits out, like one of the strategies in eating and having cravings is to not leave the things sitting out, right? Like if you're trying to avoid carbohydrates and bread, you don't leave your bread sitting out because you can see the bread, smell the bread, think of the bread. And the reason why we know this is put a lemon on your counter, cut a lemon and you naturally will have like a little bit of extra saliva in your mouth doing it. Just you saying it, it is already happening. Exactly. Exactly. So yeah. So regardless, and yes, and I knew what you meant, I guess I was just saying like, I don't know for me, I'm a salty person. Um, so I don't crave sweets typically anyway, but there are the candy store. Yeah. I mean, that's how you own a candy store because someone who is a sugar lover probably couldn't own a candy store. I don't really eat all the candy. Yeah. They would hinder their own business. Yeah. I mean, I definitely taste tested people. So like it is good and tasty and it's fresh, like the freshest. Um, but yeah, like I just typically crave salty things. So I can't really relate other than like, there are certain years I crave sweetness. So I don't know that anything would flip flop or not, I guess, but hard to say like, cause all my friends are 50, 50 split. Like it's, they're either sugar or sweet and it's, there's no rhyme or reason. Cause we're all like a lot of my friends are the same age. So I don't know. And we're not all going through the same part of perimenopause or that journey or even in that right now. So who knows? Um, yeah, we should, we should throw a bullet. Um, mood swings and irritability. Um, I know I just like where I'm dealing with so many mood swings and irritability like this week has been like a banana with my kids. We have exams, we have cheer prompts, like in general, there was a lot going on in this house. And I like to say that I like, I'm very neutral, but I feel like this week in general, I've been from here to here. And like, there's no rhyme or reason. I, well, I mean, there certainly is, but I feel like there's not like for me, I should just be very consistent, but I has been like a roller coaster here. So, um, heightened emotional points in life. There are points in life. And I don't know how many people on here who listening to us are married, but there are points in life where I'm like, I wish I was a man in the sense that like, you don't get a menstrual cycle. You don't have to deal with this and that and the other thing. But there's a couple things in life where I'm like, I'm so glad I'm not a man is dealing with my emotional irregularity, my PMS. When like, you don't know what's coming though. I think Greg should put it on the calendar. And, um, when he used to be like, are you PMSing or like whatever? I was like, dude, put it on your calendar. So you know that I'm going to be evil for a day and just be extra kind to me. Like, don't be like, look at me like an alien. And you don't know what's wrong. Like we've been married for 20 years. Like it should be on the calendar. You should know that I'm going to be a gong show for 24 hours or the night before or whatever. And then I'm going to be sweet as pie again. You know, figure it out. The other thing though, is that like, I don't know that I would want to have been on the other end of like birth. Like I, like I was happy that I was the birth or I don't think I wanted to be the the birthday. Is that, if that's what a thing, if that's what you call them, like, I don't want to be the person watching the person in pain. No, that doesn't sound fun. Otherwise I'd like to trade some of the male, female kind of things. Yeah. So let's talk about how can we break some of the stress hormone cycle? Cause after all of that, I feel like we need to have some things that we can do to kind of tone it down a little and get back to normal. Yeah. So do you want some strategies that I use with my clients? I do. All right. So, um, one of the things that like anyone who's worked with me knows that I am not a coach who promotes meditation. Not that I think meditation is bad. It's because I can't do it. So I haven't mastered that part of my coaching yet. And so I know a lot of coaches that that's their first thing to do. And when I was in adrenal fatigue, I was told you need to meditate, you need to meditate. And to me, that meant I needed to like buy a pillow or like light a candle or sit a certain way. And then all these racing thoughts came in my head and I was like, I'm supposed to quiet my mind and I can't not create more stress for me. So what I like to teach is what I call it. And I think it's the before steps of meditation. So if you can meditate kudos to you, I cannot yet. Um, but I like to call them mind micro moments. And what they are is they're like little tiny moments that you can use for gratitude or to retrain your thoughts. And so one of the really, really cool things they teach in positive intelligence is, um, is touch and using touch as a way to bring yourself into the present. So when you're feeling stressed and life feels crazy and all the things you can literally take your fingers and you can take your pointy finger and your thumb and rub them together. And kind of like, you know, like a mini violin, what, what they say, and you rub them together and you just notice that feeling. And then what you might do is you might take all the fingers from one hand and take your fingers from the other hands and you might rub them together and just notice the presence of that. And it will help to ground you in the present moment. If you're not a touch person, you can also do it with sound where you start to listen to something that's really, really far away. And so, I mean, we can get into more detail of that, but that's kind of a cool way. There are breathing exercises. Um, five, five, seven breath is something I teach all of my weight loss clients. Um, there are different breasts where you do a four count in an exhale by six, um, just little present moments that you can incorporate in parts of your day. Um, I made a, an Instagram reel the other day about taking a smoke break. You don't actually just smoke a cigarette, but you take a moment for yourself. So, uh, check out my Instagram and you can, you can see that it's Alison wills coaching plug for myself. There you go. Um, and then, um, nutrition for your adrenal support, nutrition is super important. Um, you want to make sure that you're getting a healthy balance of your, your carbs, fats, um, sorry, your carbs, your fats. Wow. Would you like to help me Amy and your protein? Um, there we go again with those forgetful moments, but not just that, like, so, so many people will do macro accounting, which I think is harder than it needs to be because, and you also, I find that anyone who does macro accounting that I know a lot of coaches teach it is that you're missing out on your vegetable intake. So you're managing your carbs, fats, and proteins, but then what about your vegetables? Because you're using your carbs, you know, in place of your leafy greens, your cauliflower, your kale, um, those kinds of things. So you really want to make sure that you're balancing all those things because it's not just your macro nutrients that are important. Your micronutrients are equally as important. And they also help to detoxify your hormones. So certain vegetables, eating certain vegetables is going to help you detoxify your estrogen levels and that sort of thing, which will actually help with PNS symptoms. If you're still having them, breast tenderness, all of those things. Um, you know, Amy, when I worked with you, we worked on things that, you know, eat these certain foods and that will help you so that you have less of those symptoms. And you'll know when you've had a not great vegetable month, because those symptoms are going to reappear. No, absolutely. I agree. And I definitely noticed when I'm not eating enough vegetables and I don't always love my vegetables, but yeah, definitely. It does make a difference when you're eating them and you feel different. And it also helps you feel fuller longer. The fiber that we're getting from vegetables too, right? Like we, we, again, one of those micronutrients that's super important that often goes overlooked. Um, you talked already about a lot of sleep stuff, like how sleep is important. So, you know, that comes into some, some things that, you know, dimming the lights. Like I watched somebody the other day and it was inspirational to me just about like in their house, they don't use overhead lights. They only use like lamps and stuff. And you've got those cool lamps that like shoot on your plants now and all the different things that Amazon sells. Not that I'm telling you need to go and buy anything, but like maybe that couple hours before bed, maybe you're lighting a candle and, you know, giving your, your body that opportunity to kind of cool down by turning off some of those overhead lighting, um, to kind of set that mood because our sun sets that circadian rhythm that tells our, um, um, our, um, what's that drug that your body naturally produces that makes you go to school. Thank you. Thank you. I love it. I love real life examples for people, right? So, um, so, you know, getting that melatonin to happen on its own, lighting the candles, a great way to do that, turning off your overhead lights, using lamps, those kinds of things, you know, journaling before bed, reading before bed, trying to get off the technology. Um, you know, I watched a study on teenagers and their sleep, like not allowing technology into the bedroom, those kinds of things, setting those habits up when kids are younger to help with their sleep patterns as they get older, as much as we all love playing games on our phones, whether we're teenagers or adults, we need to shut that off and minimum of 30 minutes, preferably an hour before bed. Um, you know, relaxation teas, chamomile teas, things like that. Um, essential oils. We talked last week about the Paris TV show where they talked about the bed spray, doing things like that can be great. Um, we touched base on movement before, you know, not treating your body the same way you tread it in its twenties. Um, so, you know, that kind of exercise might not be the right exercise for you now. And so experimenting with that, um, again, getting some, some support in that way, um, stretching maybe more than you did before that kind of stuff. Um, and the number one thing that I will say, especially for moms and women's in this busy day in life where we're attached to our cell phones and all those things, it's delegating and setting boundaries, learning to say no. And that's sometimes a yes to someone else is a no to ourselves. Right. Look at, look at our great example that we shared at the beginning of today's episode, where we talked about how we acknowledged our stress level yesterday and said, it's a note of the episode today. Let's do it tomorrow because that's going to be better for us. And you know, that's just such a great example. Absolutely. And I know.