(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Sometimes before we record an episode, I wish that other people could be privy to our lives and what goes on behind the scenes. We just had an interesting conversation about Astroturf and the spray that you can make spray with so it's not stinky. And when you have small dogs like mine, you probably only need to spray it once or twice per year or season. Whereas if you have dogs like Amy, you probably need to spray it once a month or more because of the quantity of pee. Anyway, I digress and move into today's episode. Welcome to Sweet Insights with Ali and Amy, where today on today's episode, we are talking about why self-care isn't selfish and making time for your hormonal health is super uber important. Last week, we talked interestingly enough about burnout and both Amy and I are experiencing a burnout this week and over committing and over doing the things. And so what I really want to reinforce with our viewers is that we are learning about these things and we are sharing these things. We are not perfect. You are not perfect. And to remember to give yourself grace and notice when these experiences pop up and notice where you can make small shifts or perhaps you need to someone who can help you and who understands where you're at. Let me tell you, I am in the zone of knowing where you are at. And if you are perfect, like, hey, give us a heads up. Like, don't gatekeep this. Like, let us know how you do it. No, I actually was thinking about this the other day because people pretend that they're perfect and like people see people as perfect. But anybody who is telling you that they are perfect and they have all their ducks in a row and all their things, they are lying. I actually had a conversation with my husband last night because I, I'm not a TikTok person, but I have been engaging a little bit more in seeing what people are posting on TikTok. And I do like that there is a fast forward button because I like my life to move faster when it comes to things like that. And I haven't figured out how to do that on Instagram. So I like that you can on TikTok, press the fast forward button and make people talk faster. I went to a business opportunity thing for coaches. They're looking for a leadership team of coaches last night and I wanted it to go and fast forward. I was like, please just stop fluffing it and just give me the goods. Give me the goods. And so that's kind of where I'm at sometimes. I just want people to give me the cold hard facts. But as I've been kind of venturing into TikTok and so forth, I'm going to share my thoughts. Not that you wanted to hear them, but Amy, I'm sharing my thoughts today. And I'm really hung up on the fact that there is so much misinformation out there. Like I saw a couple charts that were talking about low glycemic, low sugar fruits, vegetables, different things. And every single chart that somebody posts is different. And I would like to know what doctor would tell you that grapes and pineapple are low glycemic because these pictures are telling you that grapes and pineapple are low glycemic. Now, I guess if you're comparing them to a chocolate bar, but like, I don't know. And so I guess I'm really struggling in life right now that there is, you know, this whole thing of, you know, I can, you know, work for a network marketing company or I can post on social media and I can pretend, or I can show up as an expert and people are believing me. And I remember back, back way in the day, like, um, I have a family member who would watch like Dr. Oz and would be like, Oh, Dr. Oz says you should take this supplement. And they would go racing out to the store and they would buy the supplement. And I struggle with the fact that, okay, but who is looking at that and saying, you know, you shouldn't take that supplement and that supplement together. Or if you take this medication or you have this health concern, you shouldn't take this. And like, everybody has the big grand disclaimer, just like we do. And we say, you know, don't do any changes with it, consulting with your medical doctor. But how many people actually do that? Because it's not easy, especially in Canada to get into see your doctor, like the wait list is long availability is not there. Some people don't even have doctors. And so we're just randomly like, Oh, if you drink pineapple juice and do this, it will be good for your health. And you're like, Oh, like I have that problem. I'm going to do that. And I mean, I, one could argue that I give advice all the time and I tell my clients to do things. Now I, I'm in an industry that's not regulated. So health coaches and life coaches are not regulated. So anyone, regardless of education, schooling, or just because they want to say they are, can say that they're a health coach. Now I've taken my, um, my health coaching a little bit and I'm actually a registered health coach. So I am registered with the health coach alliance, which is a Canadian organization that parallels with a us organization. And I'm actually, um, what do you call it? Like aligned with a code of ethics. So like they could like, I have to renew every year. I have to pay my dues every year. I have to do continued education every year in order to have that membership and be called a registered, but like, who knows that? Like, who knows that a certified health coach and a registered health coach, like those things like certified means I went to school for it. Registered means I'm with an organization that monitors me and make sure that I'm following specific guidelines. Um, but like, who knows that? Like, who knows that like, Ooh, I'm going to like hire a health coach and you know, maybe I want them to have some credentials. Like no one knows that no one knows that the list they're looking at that says grapes are low glycemic. They don't know that that's true or false. They're like, Oh, it's on the chart. So if my poor mother or father who are, um, diabetic, like if they're following those charts, that's good. No. And you're right. And I've seen the same thing. And like same thing when we go and get the girls ready for cheer and we're looking at things that they can snack on, I am purposely avoiding pineapple and grapes for her wishlist because she's asking for them. But I know that that's going to cause because of how much sugar is in them, like specifically those things. Yeah. Yep. So that's my rant for the day. I apologize if no one wanted to listen to my rant, but like, I just think that we need to know who we're listening to. We need to pay attention to what we're consuming. Um, because I really feel like we're in a day at an age where we can make anything true, right? Like if I'm like, if I want to search something up and I want something to be true, like if I want you to believe that eating grapes or is good for perimenopause, I bet you, I could find information on that somewhere. Oh, I'm sure you could. If you put it into Google, it will provide. Right. Um, that we're in the day and age of information, but I also like it's, it's kind of scary. Absolutely. And for anybody who didn't want to listen to you, they're just hitting the skip button on the 15 seconds. I'm just joking. We're going to switch topics. When, when, when I listened to a podcast this weekend, I never listened to a podcast. You know that I'm a podcast person and I really like Mel Robbins. I'm a Mel Robbins fan. And I listened to one of her podcasts when I was driving in the car and I was so happy that I listened to it. I found it very entertaining and fun. And I just like her demeanor. And, um, it's just really interesting, the things that you can learn from people. And so today what I hope people can learn from us is that self-care isn't selfish, um, that it is important. And that when we talk about hormones and we talk about hormone balancing and we talk about aging, self-care isn't just bubble baths and spas. There are so many ways that you can offer yourself self-care. Those things are great. And if you have time for those and you can do those, you absolutely should. Um, but we really want to be careful that self-care isn't something that we add to our stress list because so many people do. I agree. And it can be stressful, especially if you don't know how or what to do with it. Um, I find that if I am not sure how to take care of myself in the moment that I can be stressed out about it. And then it's just everything piles on and it gets worse. So sometimes I just actually have to do it. And I love that, you know, not everything, not everyone can take bubble baths and have spa days and not everyone's into that. I personally am. That's my thing. Um, but otherwise, um, yeah, there's so many ways that we can do it and, um, still allow yourself to, to bring yourself out of the moment and take time for yourself. And so with that being said, you need to jump off temporarily and I will continue to talk about self-care until you come back. Um, I'm good for a few, I'm good for a few minutes. And this is why we have, if anyone knew our conversations before our podcast starts, like it's pure chaos, I think sometimes, but yes, I do have to pop off for a few minutes, not quite yet. And when I do, I'll just, I'll keep going and I'll be right back. That's amazing. So let's talk about how, um, you know, uh, stress can be super hormonal. So every time you skip rest, you know, you choose to stay up late binge watching that TV show, you know, you're, you know, choosing to skip the rest you're over committing or you're pushing through your cortisol level. That stress hormone is rising. Um, when we have chronic stress, we are running into adrenal fatigue. I remember back in the day, um, when I worked in the corporate world, I'd gone and seen a naturopathic doctor and they basically said that my adrenals were so shot that my eyes weren't responding to light. Um, and so, you know, we, you know, those things are estrogen or progesterone imbalances, sleep disturbances, sugar cravings, they're all so connected. And, um, you know, when we are living our lives and we're trying to be everything to everyone, um, we've got to figure out a way to set better boundaries. Um, whether those boundaries are time commitments, if it's learning to say no. Um, but basically if we keep going and not prioritizing any of those things that are personal to us that are going to help us with those regulations, we're, we're really shutting down our nervous system. And, you know, eventually, you know, that stress is going to lead into adrenal fatigue and so forth. And so noticing that and noticing the difference between, you know, accepting daily stress, that is life and acknowledging that like, Hey, I've had a really busy week or I've had a really busy day, you know, what can I do to recharge? And that might be something as simple as unplugging for a couple hours or an hour or 15 minutes, or, you know, having a phone call with a friend and just vomiting it all out. Um, there's so many things, um, but we, we really want to kind of curb those things that get in the way of that self care. So the, I don't have time. Let's talk about that, Amy. I don't have time. How many times do you say that? I would like to say that I say it more often than I do. I am the person that says, sure, I'll fit it in. Yeah. So when it comes to you, because you're always fitting everyone else in and that's the, that's because the kind of messaging, right. Is that when we say yes to someone else, we're saying no to ourselves in some regard, especially if we've overcommitted. And so, you know, being able to say, I don't have time sounds really like harsh and sounds really like, like, no, like people struggle with no, like, it's so hard to say no, but it's almost permission. Right. And you can change the wording if you want, but it's permission to be like, I'm already, I'm already maxed out. So like, and it can be a no, but later, right. You know what, I can't fit that in this week, but I'm happy to re look at it next week. Yeah. And I feel like that's something that's so important and it is something that I work very hard on. And although every day doesn't look like that, um, I feel personally in the last few years, I've gotten better at getting better at it. So not better at it, but I'm getting better at getting better at it. And it's, and it's progress, right. And it's that, and, and, you know, especially in certain careers like yours, right. You're going to have busy seasons. You're gonna have time where there's less time because of the demands that the industry puts on you that the time, you know, spring is probably busier than, you know, other months, that kind of thing. But knowing that and being able to find pockets. So you can be like, I've had three really busy days. You know, I'm going to take a hot shower and, you know, turn off my cell phone and give myself a minute. And those things are still going to be there afterwards. Or, you know, I'm going to, um, one of the things for me and, and, and it's really important in my practice is the word should, because I spend so many times in my life saying I should, I should, I should, I should, and when we're not shooting, we're feeling guilty about the shooting. Right. And so giving yourself that, like, Oh, I should be messaging this person and I should be doing this. And I should be doing that saying, you know what? No, for 15 minutes, I'm, I'm turning off the guilt with the shoulds. And I'm going to just do this for 15 minutes. And that is huge self-care right there. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that even one of the things you said, like when you're skipping rest or over committing or anything like that, like some of the little things that, um, it made me think of right away is like the times, like you said, you're binge watching TV because guilty as charged. Um, but I could be going to bed a little earlier. Like the things that that would be just something I could do for myself. And you hit it right on the nose. Like, I, I feel like when I'm watching TV and binging, I'm doing it for me because I just want to sit and watch my show. But really I should be like, okay, I know I'm tired. I know I had a long day. I really should stop and Jane and do something for me and go to bed early. One's interesting because, um, you know, I just talked about the word should, and that is like the exact thing that you said. I should, I should, I should. Right. Um, and I, and I love that you gave the example of binge watching TV because I was really intentional last night and at 10 30, our episode of our binge watching show, we're watching tracker right now. And it's so good. Um, my husband was like, do you want to watch the next episode? It's 10 30. So like we typically go to bed at 11 and sometimes I fall asleep on the couch because I'm pushing it too far. And I said to him, you know, no, I think we should stop here and we should go to bed. I'm actually tired when, except do you know what I turned around and did? I grabbed my phone to go plug it in. And somehow I found myself in the Tik TOK and he tidied up the kitchen and I was like, well, I'm going to bed. Are you coming? And I was like, yup, yup. I'm coming 11 Oh five. I'm still on Tik TOK. Yeah, it's a trap. It is a trap, but the question now, and this is where I think that like things are really important is that the, that is not a typical behavior for me. And so when we look at our habits, we want to look at what triggers that habit. So when I reflect today on like how weird that was, I need to reflect on what triggered that behavior, what was going on. And interestingly enough, I find a lot with social media is we're in avoidance. We we live in a society where we don't focus on quieting our mind. We fill our mind. So if we have like a micro moment of time, we're like, Oh, I'm going to grab my phone and I'm going to like fill it with something because it's like the quiet is too hard. Right. And that's something really important for people to notice and to work through essentially. Now, going back to like our stress and the things that happen with stress, there's like this, they, they call it invisible labor. I've heard it referred to as, and it's quite interesting because those are the things that we don't really equate to our stress, you know, that invisible to-do list that's like piling up in your head that you're like, Oh my gosh, you know, uh, whatever day is coming. And like, you know, I've got all these things to do. It's that decision fatigue because we have so many choices. I, um, I watched a minimalist and I got really excited and I'm embracing that black and white t-shirt. So if you see me a lot lately, I'm like eliminating decisions by like, I have like five white t-shirts and five black t-shirts. And like, it's really easy to just put on a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans and you're like ready for the day. And I'm kind of loving that. Cause like, I don't have to decide what I'm going to wear. I'm like, Oh, I'm going to wear a black t-shirt today and a white t-shirt tomorrow. And I'm just going to rotate. And I'm kind of going through this black and white phase and I'm kind of loving it because there's no decision fatigue, right? Like go to the, go to the grocery store and pick a salad dressing. Oh, I want ranch. Okay. Oh wait, there's 80 different brands of ranch and there's 80 different ingredients in all of them. Which one do I pick? It's exhausting. And especially as wives and mothers and, and, you know, business owners, you know, it's constantly decisions, decisions, decisions. And so my big decision is black or white t-shirt. I don't know how long this is going to last. I'm probably going to have a heart attack really quickly, but who knows right now, this is where I'm at. I love it. Do you? Yeah, I do. I personally, you happen to be wearing a t-shirt today too. I love it. I am, but mine's green and you can't really tell from the camera color because of the lighting in here. So mine is actually like a dark green, but like I'm a color person. So although I doubt it, you could have pretended for my sake, you could have pretended for my sake that it was a black t-shirt and just like, let me have that moment. You know, I am wearing a black t-shirt and I went along with it too. Allie chose the color for me. It's black. Okay. Oh yeah. I do love it. Cause it does simplify things and maybe it's not that you would just have black and white t-shirts, but maybe you just have, um, like t-shirts that are all the same style. So you don't have to choose V-neck or not a V-neck or crew neck or whatever that definitely works. So I do love it. Um, and I am going to pause it. I'll be right back. Just when I was excited to do in conversation with her, she was going to leash. My dogs are running around the kitchen. I haven't having a massive barking feast and I don't know if people can hear them or not, but there is WrestleMania is being around and now my camera is blurring and all kinds of great things are happening. Um, so I want to talk about, I want to talk about a lot of things while the dogs are not barking. Um, Cody, what do you have that's making her bark so much? Yeah, no, we're not going to bark anymore. So here I am trying to regroup after the barking mess. So let's talk about some real world self care, um, that will actually help our hormones. Um, so, you know, when we talk about that nervous system, uh, regulation, that's where we will see, you know, those micro moments of calm that I will talk about. And so, you know, I'm not a big proponent when it comes to stress management of, uh, meditation. And part of the reason why that is a struggle for me is because I think most people who are super uber stressed are so far away from meditation that it's too big of a jump. And so meditation could actually cause them stress because they're worried that they're not doing it right there. They're just really far from that. So it's one of the things that I don't actually teach because most of my clients are farther away from that than someone who could have a really good meditation practice. Um, but micro moments of calm are really important. So learning to embrace those quiet moments without grabbing your cell phone, without having to move on to the next thing. And, um, a lot of really cool strategies that I teach my clients that actually come before those deep breaths, because depending on where you are, if you're in your critter brain, if you have that negative self-talk happening in your head, you know, you can't turn that off in order to take a couple of deep breaths. You need a couple of like strategies in between to get you there. Um, and that's one of the really big things that I'm passionate about teaching, um, nutrition support. Um, you know, we talk about this every single week about nutrition support and, you know, supplemental support is super important because our food isn't, you know, grandma grown, like it used to be. Um, our soil is more depleted than it used to be all of those things. So those nutrients, um, and those nutrients, Nutra that the words are just struggling today. Um, you get that, uh, deficiencies in your nutrients and stuff more so than we've ever seen before. Um, but, but little things that you can do. Um, like I have a habit of drinking a glass of water before my first coffee in the morning, sort of like that's the coffee is the reward to getting that, that cough the water in, whether that's lemon water or, um, you know, different things for, for gut health is apple cider vinegar, different things like that, that you can do. Um, and I really want to emphasize that sleep and resting isn't laziness years ago. I would always say if we had a lazy day, like a lazy Sunday, I would rage at the end of the day and be, we're like, we were so unproductive. We wasted the day. We could have done this, that, and the other thing. And we got nothing done. Well, what's beautiful about my shift in mindset is that I've now learned that resting is doing something. Resting is doing something for me. Um, it was part of one of the reasons why we started watching football is because it was a great way to just sit and do nothing together. And it wasn't stressful. It was relaxing and it was a really good way to shift into giving ourselves permission to do something that wasn't productive. And so we're still doing something by watching football, but it's not productive. And I used to be one of those people who had to be productive all the time. And if I wasn't being productive, that critter brain, that nasty voice in my head was being so mean to myself. Um, did you have to leave? Cause you got like a Uber eats delivery? No, no, I had business. I had to attend to, but then I just remember the coffee. No, I remember I had a coffee over there, but yeah, I didn't just go and chug my coffee. I feel better because I was like, if you're going to Uber eats, can you send me some Uber eats too? Like that's fun today. I feel like today could be an Uber eats day. I will definitely do that. If I ever do that. No, no, it was business. I had to attend to, um, no. And I like your little gremlin that you have your critter brain, who sounds like a gremlin because face it for anyone who's listened to our episodes, we've heard it. We've heard your critter brain, but like, I get it. I, so I am totally, I have that same, I'm going to say mindset mentality that like, if I'm not doing something, I'm not being productive. And so for me to shut that all off and like, for example, take time to watch my shows, like binge, that is how I shut my brain off and like, quiet the things around me. Sometimes I'm like being honest, I'll be sitting with my laptop in front of me, watching my shows, multitasking, um, having my phone because, because it's work that has to get done, but it's still something like rather than sitting here to doing this and like not having any, I'm not, I'm not going to say, I don't know what the right word is. I'm not enjoying myself and being at a rigid desk and chair and working when, you know, it's that time of the day that I've worked all day. Now I need a comfy chair and I need something to distract my brain a little bit, just so that I can kind of get through if I'm just doing like my own paperwork, which is a hundred percent fine. Right? Like I work on the couch all the time. However, let's be clear. That is not downtime. It's not. And I'm not saying it's downtime, but for me, it's a compromise. If I can't get the downtime that day that I really need. Um, and I will make sure I get it the next day. Then at least I can compromise and like do 50, 50. Yeah, absolutely. And it's part of the reason why I like, so I have a desk now that I set up with two monitors and I will sit there sometimes being super uber productive, but then other times I sit on my couch with my dogs. And so a lot of times, like if I'm making social media posts or I'm doing things like that also on the couch with my dogs, because that is just fun work. It's easy work. You know, it's, you know, uh, I'm happy to be sitting with my dogs, those kinds of things. Um, and you know, when I do my article reading on Saturday morning, like it's fun, it's whatever. But what we really want to look at when we're looking at self-care is are we identifying the time of self-care? Are we, you know, are we in a stage where our life, where we can have the quiet, can we have those moments of things? And if we can't, we need to, we need to really visit why we can't. Um, and that's whether you're working with a coach or you're working with a therapist or you're working with someone. Um, but that can be really, really beneficial because sometimes those are the things that are maybe making someone weight loss resistant or they're making someone more stressed than they need to be. Um, you know, I was thinking about it the other day. Um, and I was actually going to make a TikTok video because I'm like, you know, if I'm starting to watch TikTok, maybe I should make some, but I was thinking about it. So often in our lives, um, we are like super uber focused and, um, productive and racing and we're like reaching for that next level and we want to be productive and all these things. And we're ultimately like chasing our tails for retirement. And so we're chasing our tails for retirement so that we can be retired and like do nothing and whatever. And I'm, quite passionate about this because my, um, my mother-in-law passed away not long into retirement. And so she didn't get what she was waiting for. She worked two extra years. So her pension would be better. Um, so her husband was done working and she worked extra years, so her pension would be better. But then a year later she passed away. So like she did the extra to get there to not being able to enjoy it. And I was thinking about that the other day and kind of pondering and was like, you know, what if we could find ways to be like, okay, these are the things that I'm like so excited for in retirement. And these are the things I'm looking forward to. And like, what if we could take some of those things and incorporate them into our lives now? Um, it's really funny that you mentioned this and I'm going to cut in for a moment because there's this new trend, um, where younger versions of us or younger generations, um, are taking an early retirement. And this is the new trend and they quit their job people than us, younger people than us. So they're already retiring younger than us is what you're saying. Yes. So the trend, but wait, let me explain. So the trend is, is that they're probably in their twenties, maybe early thirties and they are quitting their jobs and they are going and living life and enjoying themselves. And then they're going to come back to work when they either decide what they want to do for another job, or just take this little vacation, this mini break from work in life to enjoy what is out there now. And then come back and work later. I'd like to know how that goes for them. Like good for you. And all these people that are influencers, I think a lot of people are doing this anyway, because they're getting paid for being influencers and they're going on all these mad vacations and trips and making life so unrealistic for the people who do actually work very hard for their families and money. Not that influencers don't, I'm not trying to start a war on our podcast here, but, but if I'm being honest, I've worked my butt off my whole life to get everything.